On Sunday we had church service students in Tübingen again "closing time" where I play in the band. The band leader asked me what I expect for the second trip to South Africa and hope. This is really an interesting question that I was busy the day after that ever again. So thank you, Robert, for the kickoff! =)
I do not think I comes to experience again a new, crass adventure. This is eh not my type, just looking for a new thrill and adrenaline rush and the need to have again and again. It will happen definitely new and I'm excited, but it is certainly much to be known. So it is not 100% new territory and adventure, which I'm not unhappy.
My head tells me that I do not expect that everything will be like a year ago, when I left the country. Because we can not. Many people have gone to have stayed there a year behind them, where changes and improvements are happening. I'm not remained the same.
But only now my heart is probably also noticed and that makes one a sinking feeling in the stomach. The farm will look different, I will not sleep in the same bed, the children are bigger, the cars are different, the staff are others ...
I can not change it, but that would be nice sometimes. Just back in time, anything you again do without the thought, again in two months to say goodbye. It is challenging and shame to the same. But also rewarding. For it may indeed have slightly changed for the better, the year was not only peace-joy-riding day. And if I do not like something, I know that I will not be a year there, but only two months. And not long term, but visiting supporter.
target free me now or take the more afraid? I do not know!
My head is well-formulated expectations and many of them will come true probably are, but what my heart says I must first find out more ...
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